Cruel Cycles
I am so
completely miserable and I just do not know why,
can’t even be
bothered to cry.
So tired all
the time, can’t even get distracted,
feel like every
part of me is frozen and fractured.
Just can’t
start or finish anything.
No energy to
search for something,
anything that could
bring back my smile,
anything that could
occupy my mind for even a little while.
Too morose
to even brood,
can barely make
the effort to choke down food.
No one can
help even though I want to save myself,
I want to
be, to be anyone else,
because I am so
fucking numb, I can’t even feel the pain.
How much
longer can I try, will my demons ever be slain?
Searching
for nothing feels so strange.
All I have
to hold onto is the knowledge that soon I’ll feel again,
because this is just vicious and cruel cycle that has no end.
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